Repentence

So much has happened since I first started sharing my thoughts here. There has been Joy, sorrow and a lot of questions. Some of the time has seemed very dark and very bleak. However I still press on. Right now a lot of things are going on and life seems quite complicated. So I took some time last week to get away for a half a day of hiking and seeking to spend time with God. As I hiked and prayed to God he showed me how I have been living to play it safe and to avoid the hard issues in life. A lot of what I have experienced over the last couple of years has come from the fact that I did not want to risk. I wanted God to do the hard work for me and lay it all out. Out of that came a loss of hope, since God did not give to me what Iwanted what hope did I have. I believed the lies of Satan that God had abandoned me, that I was on my own and worst of all that I had no hope. As soon as you give up hope you have nothing. Take away a persons hope and you kill their heart. So I sat down on top of the mountain and I repented. I repented of unbelief, of fear, of hopelessness, of playing it safe rather than stepping out and risking. I then renounced the lies I had made agreements with and the foothold it gave to the enemy of my soul. So what happened next? Well let me tell you. The pressure has stepped up. The are major health issues facing me and my family, our finances are stretched to the limit but I have hope. God is showing up in the midst of these storms. God has rekindled my desire to minister to others and share my journey. In the midst of all of this I am certain that God is with me. I am not alone and neither is my family. We have not been abandoned, we are surrounded by God and his great and merciful love for us. I will not back down, I will move forward. Be it a small step or giant leap I will follow Christ where ever he leads. I pray the same for each of you!

Tom