Recently I got to take part in an Outward Bound program and it was an awesome experience. From hiking to climbing to a night spent alone in the wilderness it was an amazing time of self discovery and personal reflection. Probably the most impactful time for me was rock climbing on Saturday. To tell the truth I was dreading the climb. I had never climbed before and I was not sure that I could do it. I can hike for miles, I can sleep on the ground and repel down the side of a mountain but climb one? See the biggest fear that I have lived with is this " I don't have what it takes." When the chips are down I will fail. So as we prepared to climb I felt this dread growing within me. You can't beat the mountain, your not man enough. Before we climbed our instructors encouraged us to look at this experience beyond just climbing. "Use it as a mirror to look at how you deal with life." So skipping ahead several people went before me, some made it some did not. There were 3 routes that we were using and when it got to me I was sent to the hardest one. As soon as I started up I knew I was in trouble. I could not find the crooks and crevices that were needed to make my move. I finally got stuck and had to be lowered down. I was so angry and humiliated. I felt like that was the verdict on me. After a few minutes the instructor asked me if I wanted to try again on a different route. I almost did not do it. That voice was back reminding me of how I had failed the first time. I took a moment and thought about my options I could stop now and be done with it and feel like a loser for not even trying again, I could try and fail again or I could try it and succeed. I realized this was one of those moments in life that define what kind of person you are. I had to try again even if I failed I wanted to go out fighting not sitting back and watching. It reminded me of the quote from BRAVE HEART "Every man dies, not everyman truly lives." So I hooked into the belay line again and started up. This one started better for me. I made it through the first big transition where you go between to rocks and turn yourself to face the mountain. Then I got stuck. I could not find that one place to plant my foot. I tried several but kept slipping. I was again at that choice, stick with it or come down. It was here that God brought to mind how I live. Ofter I will try until I get to the really hard spot in life and then I stop. I look for the safest way or the one with the least obstacles. I don't stick with it when its really hard. I knew then I had to stay on the rock. I prayed to God and asked him into this situation, for strength and for courage to make myself move from the safe spot I was in to the exposed. Lesson number two. The lead instructor who was at the top saw that I was in trouble and so he climbed down to me. He was the holy spirit in all of this. I was not alone on that rock. Suddenly there was someone else to work with me. He could not climb it for me but he could offer encouragement and wisdom. We talked and I tried a couple of moves but was still stuck. I almost gave up then. I was tired, the weather was bad and I just wanted to be done. I could not see the top and I did not know where I was in relation to it. I almost quite but I did not and I am so glad. I made one more move and my foot found the spot. It's hard to explain but you know when you find the SPOT. Suddenly I could move forward and I did. I made it to the top and almost cried as I did. I had faced my fear and hung in there. Here is what I learned. 1. Stick with it. Don't give up. That final move was the hardest on the climb. After that it was smooth sailing or climbing. 2. I could not do it alone. Just like in life, we need other to help us through the rough spots. To often I refuse to ask for help out of pride and fear that I will look weak. If I had refused help here I would have failed. Lastly the reward out ways the pain. The feeling of pulling myself over the top of the mountain is one I will never forget. The pain and fear that had been holding me back washed away in the joy of triumph. I know I can do it. I have what it takes in whatever situation God puts me in. I may not get it on the first try but I will hang in and try again. Don't let your fear of failure out way the reward of following God and climbing the mountains in your life. The view from the top is awesome.
Tom
