Breaking the Silence

“I can never share that” how many times have we said that to ourselves? We take an event, a thought or a time in our life and we build a wall around it vowing never to let anyone into that area of our heart. We think we are protecting ourselves from more pain, rejection or condemnation. We doubt the hearts of those who love us, believing the lie of the enemy, that they will hate us, reject us or abandon us. This is such an evil lie of the enemy. These secrets we hold onto are the very things that are killing us inside. I believed this lie for so many years, cutting myself off from those I loved and those that loved me. For a large part of our marriage, I kept my fears, my pain and my failures from my wife. It almost destroyed me. It was literally killing my heart. The more I isolated myself from her and others the deeper I sank into despair and into addiction. The truth is that as long as we hide ourselves away from others we will always live with the pain of being alone in our hearts. We were not meant to live this way. Jesus did not live this way. He surrounded himself with 12 dear friends and he shared His life with them. When he was in the garden on the night he was betrayed he brought his disciples with him. As he agonized over the death that was before him He did not hide it from others. He wanted his disciples with him. God has done a great work of healing in my marriage, even in the last few weeks as Jody and I have shared our hearts with each other walls have come down. We are beginning to see a new intimacy between us. There is life in the sharing of our burdens and healing as we release our fear and our failures. Letting the one you love or those with whom you have a deep fellowship into your hearts is truly a gift from our dear Father. It will free you and draw you closer to those you love. We were never made to walk this journey of life alone in and silence.