As I have Loved You

This poem was inspired after watching "The Passion of The Christ" Jesus work on the cross is the true example of love in action.

As I have Loved You.

As I have loved you
Now love one another
As I gave my life
Now you must give yours

Look at my hands
See the marks from the nail
So love one another
As I have loved you

Look at my side
Where the Roman's spear pierce
So love one another
As I have loved you

Look at my back
See the marks of the Whip
So love one another
as I have loved you

This is the Cost of my love for you
A whip, A spear, a crown made of thorns
I laid down my life
so now must you

So Love one another as I have loved you
(c)2005 Tom Allen

Far From Home

I awoke this morning feeling that ache in my heart. That feeling that we are so far from our true home, from what we were truly meant be. It has the power to both hurt and heal depending on what I do with the ache. Do I stay with the ache and let it take me into the deeper places, the deeper places where I can bring the pain to Jesus or do I find something to make me forget the pain. I want to forget the pain, to numb it, but I know I can not. I must feel the pain, I must embrace it and allow myself to grieve. I am far from home, that much is true, but I am not alone. I am surrounded by a fellowship of other travelers who are also far from home. We are all traveling through this world, we all feel it, all long to have it healed and we will, just not yet. The ache is there to draw me home, to pull me onward to the embrace of my savior. That is why it is both painful and sweet. To often I miss the second part of it. If I am feeling that ache it is because there is someone calling me home. There is something for me to return to. Jesus is calling me to himself. Reminding me that only He can fill that place. So today as you feel that ache in the deepest part of your heart, remember it is a call to come home. Soon but not yet.
Tom

Moments of Truth

Life if filled with moments of truths. Each day presents us with numerous opportunities to embrace truth. What is a moment of truth? A moment of truth is the opportunity we have each time we are faced with decision whether to believe what is true in a situation or what we feel at the moment. Here are some moments of truth that I have experienced. My wife and I have a disagreement, I begin to hear the voice of the enemy accusing her, “she does not love you, she does not care about you” That is a moment of truth. Do I accept the lie or do I hold onto the truth. The truth is that Jody is God’s provision for me. The special one that He chose to be my wife. If I miss that opportunity and agree with the lie our relationship is damaged. Here is another moment of truth. I have blown it, messed up. Almost immediately I will hear the accusations. “You are a failure, idiot” the list goes on. Again I have the choice, do I hold onto what I know is true, or do I make an agreement with the enemy of my soul. My position in Christ is not determined by how well I do. I am chosen, loved and accepted because of Jesus love for me not because can earn it or deserve it. One more example,In Aug of 2002 Jody and I are at the doctors and we have just found out that the pregnancy we were so excited about has gone wrong and the baby is dead. Moment of Truth. Is God really good? How can this happen? We were faced with the decision to trust what we know is true about God or to give into the pain and the despair we felt at that moment. Moments of truth are not easy; often your every instinct will try to tell you that what you feel or think at that moment is what is most true. The accusations can seem so true but they are not. Today as you go about your day look for the moments of truth that will present themselves to you. Ask Jesus to show you what is true about the moment that you face be it big or small.
Tom

More Than Meets the Eyes

Two weeks ago I was in the mountains with Jody. It was raining while we were there and a fog covered the mountain. As we were driving I could not see beyond the front of the car. On all sides the world was gray and void. The scope of my existence was about 10 feet. As we drove down the mountain we came out of the fog and now I could see around me the mountains, the valley and the twisting road. There was so much world around me but when I was in the fog, I could not see it. Life often feels like that with bills, work, relationships and just everyday life. It gets hard to see that there is more going on than meets the eye. Yes life is hard, but that is not all there is. We have so much more in Christ, but we must remember to look beyond the fog. How much do I miss because I focus on what is set against me and not what Christ has for me. We are a part of a bigger story and we must live in that if we are to truly experience real life, abundant life. I pray that as you read this you will look beyond just the circumstances and look at Jesus and the life he offers. I pray that for you and for myself, for I so easily forget that truth.
Tom

Prayer For Life

By John Eldredge

O God, you are my life. You have breathed into me the breath of life and I have become a living being (Gen 2:7). My very existence and my being flow from You. In You I live and move and have my being (Acts 17:28). You are the Vine and I am a true branch of Yours (John 15:5). Father, you have made me alive with Christ (Eph 2:4-5). Jesus has become my second Adam a life-giving spirit (1 Cor 15:45). He came that I might have life, and have it abundantly (John 10:10). I have Jesus Christ, and I have his life (1 John 5:12). Christ is now my life (Col 3:4).

Dear Father, restore this frail branch in full union with the trunk. Restore my full union with Christ and with You. I return myself to You – my body, soul and spirit. I return myself fully to the Source of Life. May I be one with You even as Jesus was one with You (John 10:30, 17:21). Let Your life flow through me, and flow and flow throughout this day. O Life, live into me. Encompass me and all that I am. Well up within me, O Spring of Life let Your river flow through my heart, soul, mind and strength (John 7:38). You are the God who gives life to the dead(Rom 4:17). And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in me (and You are living in me), he who raised Jesus from the dead will also give life to my mortal body through his Spirit, who lives in me (Rom 8:11). O God, fill me with the resurrection power of Jesus Christ in my body, soul and spirit.

For it is Christ in me that is my hope of glory (Col 1:27). It is the triumphant life of Jesus Christ that has become my life. I live by Him. I reign in life through Him, by the life of Christ in me. For if, when I was Your enemy, I was reconciled to You through the death of Your Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall I be saved through His life (Rom 5:10). I announce that the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set me free from the law of sin and death (Rom 8:2).

I now claim the resurrection triumph of Jesus Christ against all forms of death and destruction come against me. By Jesus Christ and his great work I cut off every attempt of my enemies to steal, kill or destroy my life. As Jesus said, no one takes my life from me (John 10:18). Death has no mastery over Jesus now (Rom 6:9) and death has no mastery over me, for I am united with Christ, one Spirit with him (1 Cor 6:17). I am in Christ (1 Cor 1:30). And Christ is in me (Col 1:27). I claim the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus now against every black law of sin and death and every foul power of destruction aimed against me. By the authority of Jesus Christ I bind and banish all forms of bondage and death from me now – all spirits, all witchcraft, all foul powers. I cancel all claims against me by the work of Jesus Christ (Col 2:13-15).

I take my place in the resurrection of Jesus Christ and in his life. I claim the resurrection of Christ against my enemies and their devices and I bind them from me, and send them to their judgment, in the Mighty Name of Jesus Christ and to his everlasting glory. I choose to live by the strength of Jesus Christ, and by his mighty life. In Jesus’ Name.
© Copyright 2002-2004 Ransomed Heart Ministries.
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The Enemy

I wrote this several weeks ago when I was having computer trouble and unable to post.

The past two weeks have been hard, that is probably an understatement. The past two weeks have been an all out assault on my heart. I try to find time to write, but it just is not there. When I do have a moment, I am either so tired physically or worse tired spiritually that I have nothing to write. I grow angry and frustrated and lose site of what is true. I forget that life is hard, that things here in this world are not what they were meant to be. Most importantly I forget that I have an enemy that wants to kill me. And you do to. John 10:10 tells us that. “The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy.” How come I forget that? Instead of standing firm against him, I get mad at my wife, the dog or just about anything that comes across my path. The phrase “mad at the world” takes on new meaning for me when I get to this point. You have probably been here to. Things are not going as you had planed. Life has turned out different than you dreamed. It seems so unfair, so heart breaking. We want to find someone or something to blame. Unfortunately we often blame the wrong person. The last few days my wife and I have been mad at each other. We both want more for our marriage or hearts and it just seems like something always gets in the way. Is this her fault, no, we have an enemy but I forget that and then suddenly the person I love most in this world becomes the focus of my frustration. We have an enemy and he has set his sites on us. His goal is to destroy our hearts. To steal, kill and destroy all that we love and all that we desire to be. He is set against the work of God, he is an active enemy and we must stand against him. I forget this so easily. Jesus promises us abundant life in verse 10 of John, but he also warns us that the enemy will seek to destroy that. I need to remember that daily, I need to know that the enemy of my heart, Satan, is the one I need to stand against. Remember that today as you go through your day. When you want to blame your spouse, your boss or maybe even the dog. There is more going on than meets the eye.

Breaking the Silence

“I can never share that” how many times have we said that to ourselves? We take an event, a thought or a time in our life and we build a wall around it vowing never to let anyone into that area of our heart. We think we are protecting ourselves from more pain, rejection or condemnation. We doubt the hearts of those who love us, believing the lie of the enemy, that they will hate us, reject us or abandon us. This is such an evil lie of the enemy. These secrets we hold onto are the very things that are killing us inside. I believed this lie for so many years, cutting myself off from those I loved and those that loved me. For a large part of our marriage, I kept my fears, my pain and my failures from my wife. It almost destroyed me. It was literally killing my heart. The more I isolated myself from her and others the deeper I sank into despair and into addiction. The truth is that as long as we hide ourselves away from others we will always live with the pain of being alone in our hearts. We were not meant to live this way. Jesus did not live this way. He surrounded himself with 12 dear friends and he shared His life with them. When he was in the garden on the night he was betrayed he brought his disciples with him. As he agonized over the death that was before him He did not hide it from others. He wanted his disciples with him. God has done a great work of healing in my marriage, even in the last few weeks as Jody and I have shared our hearts with each other walls have come down. We are beginning to see a new intimacy between us. There is life in the sharing of our burdens and healing as we release our fear and our failures. Letting the one you love or those with whom you have a deep fellowship into your hearts is truly a gift from our dear Father. It will free you and draw you closer to those you love. We were never made to walk this journey of life alone in and silence.

Forgetfulness

I am simply amazed at who quickly I forget things. I forget that we live in a world that is broken and full of pain. I forget that I have an enemy that seeks to "steal, kill and destroy" me and my family. Things seem to be going well in life and I simply forget that the context of this life is war. The time is coming when the lion will lay down with the lamb, but for now we are still behind enemy lines. Our enemy the Devil, is still on the lose seeking to destroy they work of God in our lives. Do I live like this? No! Instead of being on my guard, staying close to Jesus and being ready to fight I lay down my armor and act like I am on a Sunday picnic. Then I act surprised when things begin to happen and life seems all out of whack. For three weeks I have struggled to write, to hear from God. It took me till today to remember the context of our lives. Of course I have not heard God speak, I have not been listening intently to Him. I have just been walking along acting like the world is great and I have no enemy. It is so easy to forget that the attacks of the enemy are not always open and obvious. He is a very crafty foe, he has been doing this for a long time. I am so thankful that God is merciful and patient with me. So my thought for each of you is to be on your guard, stay close to Jesus and be ready. Take a look at your life right now. What's going on right now. Are things hectic and busy, or has it settled into a comfortable routine. We must daily pick up our swords and put on our armor for our enemy never rests. A warning from one who had forgotten

Dry and Thirsty

"I am worn out", how often do we here that from other people or even from our own heart. I felt that very thing this morning as I got up to start my day at 5am. As I thought about that I realized that it was not so much a physical tiredness but a weariness of the soul. Life just has a way of sucking you dry. After all, there is only so much you can fit into a day. Trying to juggle family, work, the house, exercise oh yea and spend some quality time with God too. It can just be hard. As I looked back at the last week trying to find out why I felt like I did, I realized I had lost touch with Jesus. Was it intentional? No. Did it happen? Yes. I realized that I had spent almost no time in communion with Him. He is the living water, and if we don't have that water we will dry up. So I want to encourage you to spend some time this week with Him. Drink for the living water and let your heart be refreshed and renewed in spite of the busyness of life.

Dry and Thirsty feels my heart
The life it slips away.
I need you Lord to save me
or my heart may die today.

there is so much for me to do
Things that must be done.
Show me Lord and teach me
So that I may overcome.

Restore me with the water
That living flows from you.
Quench my thirst and fill me
Draw my heart to You.

Finding Life

The quest to find life here on earth can sometimes cause us to miss what is truly important. The things we think will bring fulfillment can be the very things that keep us from finding what our souls truly need. Sometimes these things are obvious, as when our desires have taken a turn towards the darker lust of the flesh. When we give up searching for true life and give our hearts over to the false life. But sometimes we attach our hearts to things that are good. As we seek life perhaps we find that something that is truly part of our created glory. For some it may be writing or singing. For another it may be part of their calling. A gifted doctor or leader. Maybe even a ministry. These things are part of what God created us for but they are not the point. They are never the point. The point and source of life for our hearts is always God. Now when I say the point is God, I am not talking about a set of rules and regulations to be followed. I speak of a deep and intimate relationship with Him. That is always what God is after. He created us for relationship with Him. Why else would He have sent his son to die for us on a cross. So often I lose that focus and begin to believe that it is the things that give me life. I begin to believe it is in writing or singing that my heart will find life. It is at that point that what was once good can become the very thing that keeps us from God. The action becomes more important than the relationship. To modify a phrase from G. K. Chesterton, these things become "all moonshine; light without heat, reflected from a dead world." Moonshine can be beautiful, but by itself will never bring life. So let those things that bring joy and life to your soul point you ever onward to the true point of life, a deep and true relationship with the father.

Shadows

1 Chronicles 29:15
We are here for only a moment, visitors and strangers in the land as our ancestors were before us. Our days on earth are like a shadow, gone so soon without a trace.

Life can seem so long, day after day. At times it is hard to believe that we are here for but a moment. Like a shadow, gone without a trace. If that's true then our time here is so important. How many days have I let slip by to fade away like the morning mist never to get them back. This last week has gone by and I look back and have nothing. Seven days of my life gone with no lasting impact. How many people did I come across that I will never see again? Did my silence leave a hole in their lives that God would have had me fill? I can never know the answer to that but I should live my life in such a way that people are changed by having been in my presence. I want my life to so reflect God, in both my joy and in my sorrow that people will be drawn to Him. So today my hope for you is that you will make this day count. That at the end of this 24hrs lives will be different because God touched lives through you.

Gone so soon, without a trace
Are our days here on the earth.
Are lives are like the morning mist
Which fades with burning sun.

They slip away, I can not hold
The days have come and gone
Like shadows quickly fading
When clouds obscure the sun.

How much have I left behind
How much have I lost?
There were so many times
I could have been your voice.

Help me Jesus, hold me close
May I live each precious day.
A reflection of your glory
to help others find the way.
(c)Tom Allen,2005

A Band of Brothers

We all need a group of people in our lives who will walk with us and speak truth into our lives. Many times we can get so caught in our own lives that we can not see our lives in the true perspective. I am so blessed to have many such friends who know me and have walked with me. Without them my life would be a much darker place. This poem is dedicated to my "Band of Brothers" They make me a better Husband, father and person. To all of you I am grateful.

A Band of Brothers
True friends of my heart
Each of us different
Yet united by the One.

We fight for each other
No man left behind
Though wounded and broken
Together we fight.

God is our Banner
Under Him we unite
His strength if does fill us
As we fight for our lives.

Though foes come against me
Though the night can be dark
My men they are with me
And fight for my heart.

To God I am grateful
His love he has shown
By sending my brother
So I don't walk alone.
(c)Tom Allen, 2005

The Cross

As Good Friday and Easter approach I was thinking about the significance of the Cross and what it means. Without the cross, I would still be a slave to sin. It was through the cross and the blood that Jesus spilt there that my sins were forgiven. Through His death and resurrection Jesus ransomed my life and made me His own. I am so grateful to Jesus for His sacrifice. Take some time this Easter season and reflect on your life in light of the cross and the resurrection.

Upon a cross You hung for me
Your body broken on that tree.
Each drop of blood you spilled for me,
It was the price to set me free.

It was in your death that I have life,
Yours in place of mine.
You were the blessed sacrifice
That brought my soul to life.

Now with You forever more,
My heart has been restored.
There was no power great enough
To keep you on that cross.
(c)Tom Allen,2005

I do not walk alone

For many years, I lived a life of isolation. I kept people at arms length, afraid to let them get to close. I believed that if people knew what I thought was the "real" me, they would hate and reject me. It has only been in the last 3 years that I have opened up my heart to others and shared my journey with them. God has blessed me with a wonderful wife and dear friends who know me, love me and fight for my heart. We were not made to live in isolation, we were made for relationship and for community. It is to my wife and friends that I dedicate this poem, because of them, I do not walk alone.

For years I walked alone and tired
Afraid to let my burdens down.
My back was bent with shame and sorrow
As I walked my road in silence.

The shame, the pain and the fear of failure
This was my load to bear
Until the day You broke my silence
and bid me lay it down.

Now on this road You brought to me
Dear souls with whom I travel.
My wife, my friends and fellow warriors
our burdens we do share.

Now my back is straight once more
The heavy burden lifted.
No more do I walk alone
By a fellowship I am assisted.
(c)Tom Allen,2005

On the Mountainside

I spent the weekend in the mountains with my "band of brothers" just taking time to rest and reconnect with God, my heart and my brothers. I do not know about you, but for me the mountains is a place where I just feel close to God. Surrounded by the glory of His creation, I feel His presence in the wild. I wrote this poem while sitting on a hill over looking a mountain stream.

As I sit here on this mountainside
your voice it calls to me.
In the running of water
I hear your words of life.

I feel You move around me
As the winds blows through the trees
Giving me assurance that you will always be

As I gaze upon the evergreens
Reaching towards the sky
Reaching out in praise to you,
Your Glory fills my eyes.

I see your strength in the mighty rocks
That uphold the mountainside.
It's Your strength that upholds me
On the journey we call life.

Through rock and wood
Through running brook
My heart it comes alive
for you O Lord have met me
Here on the mountainside.
(c)Tom Allen, 2005

Sharing your Heart

Each of us, as we go through life, has things in our past that may haunt us. Failures, sin and tragedy. There is a strong desire to hide these things away and never share them. This is a terrible tragedy. We are not meant to live in isolation and in shame. As we share not only our victories but also our failures, healing and life can come out of the pain of the past. I wrote this poem after a time of deep sharing with my brothers about our lives both the good and the bad.

To share to tell
The shame I feel
To let someone inside.
I want to run I want to hide
But in the sharing there is life.
(c)Tom Allen, 2005

On Hope

Where would we be without Hope. The Bible talks about Faith, hope and Love, these three things are so important to our lives. For me hope walks very closely with faith, because it is my faith in Jesus that allows me to hope. To have hope in the midst of Death, pain and suffering. My hope is in Jesus that in His time all will be made right. That which is lost will be restored and all our tears will be wiped away. Where is your hope today?

Hope like the morning sun does rise
upward, upward to the sky.
Burning through the foggy mist
bring peace and rest in Thee.

Though earth still trembles
Though skies still pour
In you my heart is sure
For in the clamor of this life
I hear your still calm voice.

Fear Not! You say and I believe
For lo your Spirits near me
It guides me into a quiet port
and anchors me securely
(C)2005, Tom Allen

Grief

Grief is a hard thing to deal with. To admit such pain and allow it the freedom to be is difficult. Even as a Christian, grief is a part of our lives. The wonderful thing about it though is that as we grieve over all that is not as it should be healing comes. As followers of Jesus we are not immune to pain and suffering but we do have the promise that one day, all will be made right. Grief is not the absence of hope, it is simply Acknowledging that their is deep pain and hurt in each of our lives. The following poem came out of a post I read from some people dealing with grief in their lives. It brought me back to August of 2002 when we lost our un born baby. This poem is dedicated to that precious child that we will see again.

Total silence fills the room
not a sound is heard.
The words no parent should ever hear
have sadly just been said.
"Your baby has no heart beat"
her little life is gone. The life you held is gone away
back to heavens home.
A love so true, a grief so deep whatever will we do?
I do not know the answers, I do not understand
This world can seem so dark so cold, only You uphold.
With us You grieved, with us You cried,
Your promise you did give
We would see our little girl
one day whole again
(c)2005,Tom Allen

What Kind of Story Have we fallen into?

This post is a copy of an email I sent to a group of men in whose lives I have been blessed to be a part of. They are brave, strong and holy men who live life for all they can in spite of all that this world and our enemy may throw at them. I wanted to post it as an encouragement to you all. We are not alone, and God has not abandoned us.

"As I read the posts and hear the struggles that each of us are facing, I am again reminded of the scene from Lord of the Rings, where Sam and Frodo are walking and begin to think about the larger story. Sam asks, "what kind of story have they fallen into?"
As I think about that, I can not help but ask that question of us as individuals, as a fellowship. What kind of story have we fallen into? If we look at the smaller story of our struggles it is so easy to lose hope. Finances are in shambles, friendships are attacked, marriages are on rocky ground and we wonder if we are alone. But then as we cry out to God, share our struggles with him and each other; we see the movement of the kingdom. We see the desperation of the enemy. The army of God is moving across the land, recapturing the territory held by the enemy. It’s happening in small bands of freedom fighters that are moving out of darkness and declaring the light. We have herd the call of God and have answered it. Some of us started down this path by ourselves, others with a group of others. Along the way we have met with other fighters who have walked with us, battled with us and charged the fields of the enemy. We have also taken wounds. We have felt the arrows pierce our sides, the sting of the enemy’s blade. We have cried tears of pain and sorrow as some of our comrades have fallen in battle. Through the pain and struggle though we see we are moving forward, not always running, but slowly step by step we see the light of our King and we follow him. My heart leaps at the thought that we are involved in the epic struggle. Something so much bigger than us, but something that we have a major role in. We are part of the last great battle. The time when once and for all the enemy of our soul will be sent down to the fires of Hell for all eternity. The war may last beyond our time, but as we take our rest from the battle, God will rise others up in our place. These new recruits will look back and recount the battles already won. I pray that we will all see the battle around us for what it is. We are in a war for the freedom of men, and the return of the true King. How wonderful to be part of that. What kind of story have we fallen into? The kind we all dreamed of when we were young. One that requires all of our hearts, and on in which we are truly needed. Take heart my brothers, we will be victorious. To quote a brother of mine.
God has Chosen us
Evil will hunt us
A fellowship will protect us!

Praise

Today's post comes simply from the joy in my heart. I am so grateful to God for the work he has done in me.

My heart, the place wherein your glory dwells
It grows it beats it lives in You!
For you my Lord, my Savior my friend
have ransomed me form death and sin
My heart is good, it's clean and pure
I am one with you forever more.

No sin no stain can come between
Your love for me it does endure.
My heart was broken,half not whole
Till your gentle arms they did in fold.
You took two halves and made them one
Through the precious blood of your only Son.


And now with you forever more
I am alive and all will be restored.
Abundant life to me you give
I am so blessed to with you live.
(c)2005, Tom Allen

Truth vs Lies

For me at least it seems that for each truth I learn, there is a lie that comes against it. It is often hard to tell the difference sometimes. Often the lie is just a distorted version of the truth and can seem so real. I must chose to believe the truth even if it does not always feel so true. It was this thought that lead me to write the following.

A Truth, A lie
The two do battle.
One brings Life, the other Death.
Open my ears that I may hear
Your Truth and hold it near.
(c)2005,Tom Allen

The storms of life

I woke up yesterday morning just feeling overwhelmed with life and all that needed to be done and taken care of. The usual concerns finances, time and family where all weighing heavily on me. So I decided to put my thoughts to paper and see what truth God would reveal to me and as He as done a lot lately, I wrote this short poem. I just want to share it with you all and hope it offers some truth and encouragement as we travel on this journey of life.



"Life like a storm tossed sea does roar.

The wind, the rain and fog they do obscure.

I fear I faint and worry the cost

and grasp to hold that which is lost.

But one word from you and my heart is calm,

though the storms of life they do blow on."
(c)2005,Tom Allen

The Trail of Life

Life is a journey that is much like following a trail in the woods. Sometimes it is flat and open at other times it is dark and rocky. I sometimes lose my way on this journey, and Jesus always calls me back. He is my compass and my guide through this journey.

The trail of life moves ever onward,
Each step a battle fought.
The way is steep and fraught with peril
But your light guides me forward.
And though I sometimes lose my way and stumble on the
rocks
Your mighty arm it reaches out and your voice calls me
homeward.
(c)2005,Tom Allen

A Prayer

I wrote this one morning after waking up and just struggling with trying to live in my identity in Christ. As a Christian, I am a new creation, my heart has been made new. So how come it is so hard to remember that. This is as much a prayer as it is a poem. We desperately need to remember who we are.

Oh that I would simply remember the one in whose image I was formed,
That I would breathe the breath that He breathed in me.
Stand with the strength He put in me,
And rest in his arms, the arms that hold me tight.
If I could but remember this, I would know who I am, the one He made me to be.
(c)2005,Tom Allen